Disci-Plans and Mini Vans

Yesterday as I told you, we went to the library. One of the books I checked out is called "Discipline the Brazelton Way." I checked it out because in the table of contents it had a whole section on a year to 15 months which I thought was unusual. First off, I want to say that I use no method of anyone for anything. People sometimes asked me what method I used to get Gwen to finally sleep through the night... well, my own method, namely time and continuous effort! Anyway, back to the book. I am not surprised anymore that people say in books not to spank kids. I mean, lots of parents don't even want to talk about it if they do. It's just this quote that struck me... see if it "strikes" you. (pun intended)

"Using physical punishment today needs to be avoided as much as possible. I was switched whenever I 'deserved' it when I was little, but I don't remember anything I learned from it, except to hide the switch from my parents. Hitting a child is not respectful. It shows that you are bigger than he (which won't last) and it says: 'Violence is the way to settle issues.' In our present violent society, I can't recommend this as a way of helping a child learn to control himself.
I would avoid using force as a way to control a child. The goal for discipline is to teach the child how to control himself. Force won't lead to that. These days we can no longer afford to take the 'spare the rod, spoil the child' dictum so literally. It is time we took it to mean 'spare discipline, spoil the child'-- a challenging but essential warning for every parent."

I disagree with his opinion of what the goal for discipline is anyway. I believe the goal for discipline is obedience to God first and to authority... and of course, self discipline is an accompaniment to that. He acts like kids have the reasoning ability to know how to control themselves the right way all the time. I mean, I don't even think your brain is done forming until age 50! (at least the reasoning ability) I didn't like how he quoted the Bible and basically changed it. I'm talking about and reading about this because I am facing base camp of the mountain of discipline (or correction as I'm going to call it) with Gwen. She's too young to spank at this stage I feel, but definitely knows when she is about to do something wrong. She doesn't understand fully what I say, but enough. It is a tricky age I think to know how to discipline properly. It all started with throwing food off of the high chair. We have swatted her hand about that from the beginning and never treat it as a game. I ain't playin' that one, ya know? So, has it worked? Well... sometimes, but she still tries to do it. I have also taken the object out of her hand that she is threatening to drop and she doesn't like that too much. It's a puzzle really. Now she has graduated into wanting to stand up on her rocking chair and dive off. I have graduated to swatting her leg for such a thing after I tell her in a low voice and firm "no". I'm not getting worked up or anything, and I'm not angry when I do that. It is literally amazing to me to see her reaction to not getting her way of things. She gets really upset and then a second later will laugh at me whispering in her ear that I love her.

I've got another bone to pick with this dude from the book. You know, I don't remember why I was spanked a lot of the times either...but I do remember some times. I'd like to know any kid that remembers time outs and why they were there too! Kids have a short memory span. Ok, enough of my rant. :) I try not to rant much on this blog. Not many people want to read rants.. or maybe that's just me.

Do you see this beautiful van? We are now the proud owners of a minivan! My parents came up in July and gave us their "old" van and got a new one for themselves. Needless to say, I was overwhelmed and cried like a baby. We are so grateful and thankful for their generosity and we are LOVIN' the minivan life! It will be so nice with two little ones.