Sunday, May 15, 2016

May in the Cul-de-sac

May is the month my peony bushes bloom.  They are beautiful and I love them even though they are short lived.


I have started trying to potty train Romy.  I'm not sure why this photo isn't cooperating, but here is Romy wearing underwear.


Zeke had his kindergarten program on Friday.  It was very cute.  


Here we are after the show.


Gwen's class did a project on starting their own business.  She chose to open a massage business and she designed this t-shirt.


Here's Gwen ready to massage.


Zeke and Luke after the program.


We had the Post family come and stay with us for a few days.  It was nice to have them.


The kids found a toad today.


Ben helped our neighbor trim her rose bushes.


Tuesday, May 10, 2016

The Long Road

Tomorrow I sing this poem at someone's memorial. It's been two weeks since my dad's death. I was so moved by this text. I especially like the last line- "my heart both cries and laughs".

I love you night and day
As a star in the distant sky.
And I mourn for this one thing alone
That to love, our lifetime was so short.

A long road to heaven’s shining meadow
And never could I reach its end.
But a longer road leads to your heart
Which to me seems distant as a star.

High above the arch of heaven bends
And light so clear is falling.
Like a flow’ring tree the world is blooming.
Overwhelmed, my heart both cries and laughs

Sunday, May 08, 2016

Pictures

My little family 







Friday, May 06, 2016

Abide With Me

Abide with me; fast falls the eventide;
The darkness deepens; Lord with me abide.
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, O abide with me.

Swift to its close ebbs out life’s little day;
Earth’s joys grow dim; its glories pass away;
Change and decay in all around I see;
O Thou who changest not, abide with me.

Not a brief glance I beg, a passing word;
But as Thou dwell’st with Thy disciples, Lord,
Familiar, condescending, patient, free.
Come not to sojourn, but abide with me.

Come not in terrors, as the King of kings,
But kind and good, with healing in Thy wings,
Tears for all woes, a heart for every plea—
Come, Friend of sinners, and thus bide with me.

Thou on my head in early youth didst smile;
And, though rebellious and perverse meanwhile,
Thou hast not left me, oft as I left Thee,
On to the close, O Lord, abide with me.

I need Thy presence every passing hour.
What but Thy grace can foil the tempter’s power?
Who, like Thyself, my guide and stay can be?
Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me.

I fear no foe, with Thee at hand to bless;
Ills have no weight, and tears no bitterness.
Where is death’s sting? Where, grave, thy victory?
I triumph still, if Thou abide with me.

Hold Thou Thy cross before my closing eyes;
Shine through the gloom and point me to the skies.
Heaven’s morning breaks, and earth’s vain shadows flee;
In life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.

Thursday, May 05, 2016

My Dad

This is a different kind of blog post.  This has been a different kind of week.  Last Tuesday my dad had an aortic abdominal aneurysm rupture and he died within a few hours.  My mom found him passed out in the floor at home and then called 9-1-1 and then decided to have him checked out at the hospital.  When they got to the hospital he continued to decline and then after a CT scan they knew why.  My dad was 79 and he didn't suffer or lose his mind or have to be in a nursing home.  He would have hated that.  


Grief is a strange thing- it ebbs and flows and catches you by surprise.  Like many experiences in life- it is bittersweet.  I'm glad he is whole, happy and free- and with our Lord Jesus.... but it is strange not having him at home.  Death is a confrontation that we all die and all that matters in the end is how many people you built into and loved and told the Good News.  We all are at peace with things and I never felt anger at God.

I took a walk at Wheeler National Wildlife Refuge.  It's like that place has more oxygen or something.  I just love it.  It's quiet and peaceful and lovely.




His funeral was small but nice and God gave me the strength to sing at it.  I'm glad I did.  I think dad would have liked it.

Here's some good friends of mom and dad.  They had chicken houses near to ours in our Holly Pond years.  They are the kind of people that are just so solid.  You just get this pioneer solid feeling around them.  Plus, Janice is a gardener extraordinaire.  Whenever I ask her questions she makes it sound so easy.


Here's my whole family.  Preston, Stephanie, her two kids (Clay and Chloe), mom in the middle, me and Shack (our surrogate brother). I can't believe how big Stephanie's kids are.  I enjoy being with them.



I gave this to dad one Father's Day.  I asked mom if I could take it home.  It makes me smile.  I remember dad laughing about it when I gave it to him.


I can't even express the deep gratitude I have for every text, call, meal, flower, hug and word of support from everyone.  Sometimes small gestures mean the most.  A widow near to us broke up some branches we had in our trash can that the trash guys decided not to take and put them in yard waste bags for us. It really touched my heart.  Another friend sent a card for my children that spoke to them about death on their level- so thoughtful.  This last photo is from a friend that I sing with and a fellow "noticer".  He notices stuff and he said with this photo that we can only imagine what splendor my dad is experiencing now.


Friday, April 15, 2016

Spring in Kansas City

Spring is beautiful and I love it here.  It is so refreshing after the winter.  Here's Gwen flying a kite one day with Ben. 


Romy and Claire playing.


I'm proud that Gwen is using a fortune teller thing like I used to make as a kid.


I went to see Sandi Patty in concert the other night.  Lots of high notes... I road home in silence.


Romy helping daddy with yard work


Romy with her Joseph puppet


I watched a little girl the other day for another mom.  They are only 3 weeks apart in age.


and last but not least... the kids singing their Bible verse.  We teach a kid's class on Saturday evenings and we've been putting the verses to song to help them memorize.  It seems to be working because Romy has almost gotten it.


Saturday, April 02, 2016

The Mom Tug of Love

When I became a mom, I told Ben that I felt like a mothering "claw" came and embedded itself into my heart tethered to my children.  Each incremental act of letting go- well, I felt that tug against my heart even though it is the right thing to do.  Letting go little by little is a hard and necessary thing.  The love of a mother is just so mysterious and wonderful and amazing. 

This is Gwen and I a day or so into her precious life.


3 months she was smiling.  We had been through so much together.


Me holding Zeke moments after birth.  I was just so happy to be holding a baby and be through with labor.


Handsome at 2 months.  He still makes me stop and stare at how beautiful he is- especially when he is laughing hard.


Romy a day or so in.  She came so easily- and I appreciated it.


Romy at 3 months.  I barely remember her as a baby.  She's always had so much to say.



Thursday, March 31, 2016

Good and Bored

 When you take some days and have a "no screens" rule... well... ya get good and bored, and make a zoo using dominoes.


and learn how to play MASH


and help mom make freezer meals


and build volcanoes out of sand


and when you get good grades on your report cards you get frozen yogurt!


For Easter you get chocolate bunnies!




Nature's dyed eggs.  They were delicious deviled.


Tuesday, March 15, 2016

So Much

 I take random pictures here and there and everywhere.  I like to think I have an eye for the unusual or that I notice things differently, but I'm not sure about it.  Whenever I go into different church's I look around for art or interesting windows ect.  I liked this painting of Jesus talking to the woman at the well.


It has begun to get warmer here and one day as I rounded the corner from a long and tiring walk this scene made me smile.  The kids, Ben and my home.


I have to be talked into being excited about salad.  These jars help that effort.  Why is getting older so hard?  It feels like maintaining yourself feels like so much effort these days.  Self improvement stinks.


But... I get to rehearse in pretty buildings like this... pinch me


The inside.  I pretended it was my castle all evening.


I made a starburst mirror recently.  It's not too bad but I don't like the gaps.  I'm going to have Ben caulk them.


I tried false eyelashes for the first time recently.  They felt huge.


This was where our big concert was... pretty.

 I'm in the middle behind the pole.


A neighbor kid drew this for me.  I love kid art!


coral cactus... I want one so bad.